Confidence in fear.
What can I say about the time that I’ve been here? So much has happened in these short three weeks. Waking up every day is a privilege just because I get to walk outside the cabin and see God’s beautiful creation. I really think living in the mountains anywhere is the best place to be. As I walked over to the office this morning, I stopped and looked at the amazing view of the valley from Pride Rock. The weather was perfect.
While the scenery is gorgeous, there are also some things I would say that are a bit more trying. For example, the language barrier is not near as pretty as the mountains. Yes, I am in a foreign country so naturally there is a language barrier. I knew going into it that I would by no means be fluent and I think that hurt me a bit. Not the lack of knowledge, but the fact that I had already told myself that I couldn’t do it. This just is not true. I can. Sure, I’m going to make a million mistakes but that’s ok. Mistakes are good. They’re one of the best ways to learn. We went to church on Sunday in Limon. I really enjoy going to that church. We got there pretty early because nothing starts on time here, so we had ample time to sit and talk to the people. At first, I just sat there and didn’t say a word. I didn’t want to try. It was so much easier to just sit and not talk to anyone. Then, two little boys came in and sat down right next to me. I still didn’t say anything. I just smiled and turned back around. But then as I started to look around at the other interns spread around the church, they were all talking and laughing with the children and some with the adults. I couldn’t just sit there any longer and not talk because I was afraid to mess up. If I went through my whole life like that I would get absolutely nowhere. So I turned and started talking to the kids. They were super cute. Duglas and David were their names. David wanted to show me his English. He counted to ten and then he wanted me to teach him more. Next to me, Courtney was teaching another little boy and his mother some English words. The people are so open and apt to learn. Every time I get up the courage to speak to someone in Spanish I learn something new and feel better and better about. I just have to speak up first. Showing the people that I care about them enough to learn their language so that I can communicate with them is huge. But they will never know what I’ve learned if I don’t speak up. I have definitely been challenged these past couple of weeks to get out of my comfort zone and try to do something that I don’t feel very confident in. It’s been a humbling experience and I daily have to ask for confidence from the Lord. But it’s been so good. Scary, but good.
Erin
